My New Diet Plan

Iight...Im always thinking about ways to manage my weight, becase it seems to flucuate so often. Seriously I hav "fat periods", where a few days'll go by and I can only fit into sweats comfortably. A few days later, I'll b able to show my stomach, or so I think...please inform me if u catch me sloppin. Anyway I've created this new Diet Plan designed for those who are unhappy with their weight. I talked to Billy Blanks about sponsoring me and Im thinking about an infomercial. Hit me up for a free trial, i need testemonies. I have tried it several times during Spring Break and I really think this is gonna be BIG.

Its called the "Fuck It" diet.

Mission: To kill the self-consciousness and unhappiness that plagues America's obese through weed, laughter and eating.

History: My mother once encouraged a friend of mine to smoke everynow and then, she said it helps u to just say "fuck it". That moment has helped me to develop a way to manifest my nonchalant attitude towards life's issues through a substance we all know as marijuana. I naturally possess the "fuck it" gene, but I others need a boost. I spent several weeks in the lab creating this diet plan that not only helps you to not be self concious about ur image, but to kno when to say "fuck it" to other issues... low life boyfriends, deceitful friends and even bad sex.

How does it work?
U can achieve contentness with your self-image in three easy steps!

Step One: After you send me your payment. $10 for each pre-rolled bluntette. I get one of my "sponsors" to deliever the goods to a hood near you. After reading the instructions carefully, you use as directed. You can even share it amongst your friends. (up to 4 ppl per bluntette) If done right, this step should give you a calm, happy feeling. You should be able to look in the mirror and not give a fuck about ur appearance anymore! Yes, I said it, instant results.

Step Two: Call ur funniest friend. U don't hav any friends? Go to ur local video store or bootlegger and get Katt Williams; American Hustla!

Step Three: You will need to locate the nearest Checkers or McDonalds (whichever you prefer) with at least $8. Now this part of the diet gets specific, you MUST order:
Checkers: 1 Champ w/ cheese, 1 Med fries, and a Med Strawberry Banana milkshake
McDonalds: 1 cheeseburger, 1 Med fries (i reccommend you inquire whether they are fresh), 1 Med Vanilla milkshake (eggnog, if tis the season) and a cinnamon melt.

After you've completed these steps you will be high, full, and laughing your ass off. You will no longer be concerned with your weight or how you look. Problem Solved. REPEAT TWICE DAILY. You will notice that the "fuck it" capabilities of the product will spill into other aspects of your life for added revitalization. If you feel yourself slipping, just repeat the words "fuck it", or call the 24hr "fuck it outline" (will be up shortly) and the represtatives will be happy to help you through your crisis.

Side Effects: red, puffy eyes, ass growth, uncontrollable laughter, obesity, heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and death- but everybody dies sooner or later.