My White Side

Its a beautiful day outside, and the first thing I thought to do was find a nice spot in the sun to chill. I chose the grass surrounding the bell tower. I found a nice place to sit, laid my jacket out, pulled my laptop out, looked around... and only saw white ppl. Cud the urge to b out in nature doing ramdom things to entertain myself b my white side coming out?

Before I continue let me clear a few things up. My parents are black, my grand parents are black and my great grand parents are black.

Moving on, this revelation caused me to think about other "white things" i do.

I listen to Imogen Heap
I wear my jeans 3 or 4 times before washing them
Im friendly to everyone
I rarely mop my kitchen floor and wen I do, I use paper towels and windex
I leave hair in the sink...and the drain
I eat hummus and like it
I dont like kool-aid or watermelon

Yup u herd it hear ladies and gentlemen. Now that u kno im not the cleanest person u kno and u'll probably never want to eat from my house... I have a confession to make

I want more white (and asian) friends.

I like their carefree spirits,down for whatever attitudes, and friendly personalities, even tho i think it's attributed NOT bein enslaved for hundreds of years.

B-Day Plans

My birthday wasnt anything spectacular, but I didnt really expect it to be.

I didnt plan anything and the only close friend i hav who is 21 got her i.d. stolen the day before. bummer.

I plan to make up for it this weekend tho, im throwing my first and probably last house party.

I wanted to hav a theme but didnt really feel passionate about anything but alcohol. So it's alcohol themed. Everyone will get a lil plastic shot glass and a list of drinking games upon entering. For the first couple of hours i plan to get fucked up playin the games. I hav a gud amount of ppl bringin bottles and im already gonna hav liq there. We're gonna get FUCKED up!

Im a kid at heart so of course im gonna walk around with a b-day girl tiara, hav a pinata and play drunken pin the tail on the donkey. All my closest friends and fam r coming from far and wide. Im so excited!

F-toDay

Hope you all enjoy the holiday with your loved ones, bcuz mine was eventful. I got a box of choclates and went out for lunch with old faithful, My newby wasnt even in town, and Im supposed to have a funfilled evening with bestie but she wants to invite someone else. Spoke to the ex and had a really long conversation with the most recent. Im left with a whole bunch of emotions, It's overwhelming. I've been happy, excited, disappointed, tired of pretending, frustrated, and calmed all in the last 6 hrs.

I really just want an L, a gud book, and a pad and pen to jot down my sparractic thoughts.

What face?...I looked like a lightbulb went off? (O shyt)
Aww stop making me blush...
Can't wait! Who wants to come? Nevermind...
We're not gonna talk about THAT rite now...
I really cant c us being friends...

Transitioning

Im about to get back on my blog shyt. Yea I kno I've claimed it a few times before, but this time Im fareal. I need to. I'm making major changes in my life and I need to document,express them, and maybe get some feedback. Every1 needs guidance. Here's a list of new decisions I've made in my life. For clarity, these arent things that I plan to do, there things that I've been doing.

1. I'm going to all my classes. I've experimented with different schedules in the past, the long weekend, the once a week classes, but I think that I've found 1 that really fits. Short classes on MWF so they aren't as agonizing and Tues and Thurs off as study days. This way I can be more motivated to go to classes because they're shorter and closer together, and I can stay in school mode because my free time is during thee week.

2. I'm no longer a clepto. I've been wanting to stop for a while, but my lesson was officially learned wen Rite Aid tried to set me up last week. So I go to the Aid for some plug in refills to keep my crib fresh with no intentions on paying for them. I pick them out, and lift them, then I notice the manager and undercover loss prevention guy b-line to the front of the store. How obvious. I still had intentions on taking it because I think I'm invincible and I knew there were no sensors. I continue shopping and I think to myself, "Self, u kno u hav the money to pay for this and karma hasnt been treating u gud lately, jus buy it" So i proceeded to the register for my purchase and as I walk out, the undercover nigga MAKES the sensor go off. So they pull me to the side preying on their new victim, but to no avail. I left smiling knowing that I made the right decision, and will continue to from now on.

3. Im celebate. Despite not having sex for almost 2 months now, I dont really miss it. Im interested in someone, but I want to wait until I've completely healed from the disaster I call friends with benefits. Sex complicates everything, and gets me really attached to a person. I want to b sure that Im doing it with someone who truly cares about me.

4. Im focusing on me. I've noticed that I sometimes crave attention from guys. Not good. When Im lonely or bored, I just call a dude to help entertain me. So I said to myself, "Self, u need to make urself happy". And that's what Im doing. Im looking for things to get involved in, focusing on what I want and what makes me happy, and making a plan for my future.