B-Day Plans

My birthday wasnt anything spectacular, but I didnt really expect it to be.

I didnt plan anything and the only close friend i hav who is 21 got her i.d. stolen the day before. bummer.

I plan to make up for it this weekend tho, im throwing my first and probably last house party.

I wanted to hav a theme but didnt really feel passionate about anything but alcohol. So it's alcohol themed. Everyone will get a lil plastic shot glass and a list of drinking games upon entering. For the first couple of hours i plan to get fucked up playin the games. I hav a gud amount of ppl bringin bottles and im already gonna hav liq there. We're gonna get FUCKED up!

Im a kid at heart so of course im gonna walk around with a b-day girl tiara, hav a pinata and play drunken pin the tail on the donkey. All my closest friends and fam r coming from far and wide. Im so excited!

F-toDay

Hope you all enjoy the holiday with your loved ones, bcuz mine was eventful. I got a box of choclates and went out for lunch with old faithful, My newby wasnt even in town, and Im supposed to have a funfilled evening with bestie but she wants to invite someone else. Spoke to the ex and had a really long conversation with the most recent. Im left with a whole bunch of emotions, It's overwhelming. I've been happy, excited, disappointed, tired of pretending, frustrated, and calmed all in the last 6 hrs.

I really just want an L, a gud book, and a pad and pen to jot down my sparractic thoughts.

What face?...I looked like a lightbulb went off? (O shyt)
Aww stop making me blush...
Can't wait! Who wants to come? Nevermind...
We're not gonna talk about THAT rite now...
I really cant c us being friends...

Transitioning

Im about to get back on my blog shyt. Yea I kno I've claimed it a few times before, but this time Im fareal. I need to. I'm making major changes in my life and I need to document,express them, and maybe get some feedback. Every1 needs guidance. Here's a list of new decisions I've made in my life. For clarity, these arent things that I plan to do, there things that I've been doing.

1. I'm going to all my classes. I've experimented with different schedules in the past, the long weekend, the once a week classes, but I think that I've found 1 that really fits. Short classes on MWF so they aren't as agonizing and Tues and Thurs off as study days. This way I can be more motivated to go to classes because they're shorter and closer together, and I can stay in school mode because my free time is during thee week.

2. I'm no longer a clepto. I've been wanting to stop for a while, but my lesson was officially learned wen Rite Aid tried to set me up last week. So I go to the Aid for some plug in refills to keep my crib fresh with no intentions on paying for them. I pick them out, and lift them, then I notice the manager and undercover loss prevention guy b-line to the front of the store. How obvious. I still had intentions on taking it because I think I'm invincible and I knew there were no sensors. I continue shopping and I think to myself, "Self, u kno u hav the money to pay for this and karma hasnt been treating u gud lately, jus buy it" So i proceeded to the register for my purchase and as I walk out, the undercover nigga MAKES the sensor go off. So they pull me to the side preying on their new victim, but to no avail. I left smiling knowing that I made the right decision, and will continue to from now on.

3. Im celebate. Despite not having sex for almost 2 months now, I dont really miss it. Im interested in someone, but I want to wait until I've completely healed from the disaster I call friends with benefits. Sex complicates everything, and gets me really attached to a person. I want to b sure that Im doing it with someone who truly cares about me.

4. Im focusing on me. I've noticed that I sometimes crave attention from guys. Not good. When Im lonely or bored, I just call a dude to help entertain me. So I said to myself, "Self, u need to make urself happy". And that's what Im doing. Im looking for things to get involved in, focusing on what I want and what makes me happy, and making a plan for my future.