I just got out of a long relationship, so naturally, I'm tip toeing back into the dating world as I adjust to the single life. A good friend of mind and I had a conversation about how everyone has some sort of impact on life and and every person changes your perspective if even just slightly. Slowly weaning off a person that i've been so deeply intertwined with makes me realize a lot about myself. It kind of sets a guard up from the next intruder, while revealing how unique and intriguing I am. It creates that much needed self pride that I needed when I first realized it was time to let go.
Immediately when you start to deal with a person on an intimate level, and unconsciously began to change to please them. Breaking up, for me, has the reverse effect of that. It makes me appreciate the flaws that got on his nerves so bad, and create a kind of arrogance, the same arrogance displayed by the woman in the following poem. I also spoke with someone else recently, who said I was looking for mr. perfect, like that was asking for too much. Damn rite, i want the perfect mr. for my ms. I was introduced to this poem tonight, and think it totally reflects the mind state that im in. Don't get me wrong tho, you can never have too many "friends".
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing, "What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asked, "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."
She began to expound..."
As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more."
"I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.
She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man."
"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster."
"I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded."
"I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.
"When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, " You're asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
6 comments:
do not be afraid to let people in. its ok to have ya wall and all but if you shut everybody out then you'll be a lonely nigga. (had to use the word b/c im reffering to ignorance right now) yea i guess while your 20 you can ask for perfection from the opposite sex. but that wont get you anywhere. honestly nobody is perfect. Only God and in that case unless you want to date a spirit i suggest you reality check yourself. how can you ask someone to be perfect when your not? every realationship that you engae in, either romatically or not, is going to have its good and bad points. the thing is you have to choose wether or not your willing to either suck it up for the sake of love, work on it with that person, or missout on something that can be beautiful b/c it fell one check short on the check list. think about it. its just liek you said you meet somebody, get into a realtionship, and then you both begin to change.either good or bad a change does come. who are you to tell that person that the change has to come.... NOW.... lol i mean. if you love it hold on to it. unless its fighting you to get away.
i appreciate the feedback, and I definately understand where ur coming from. Although the dialogue is requesting perfection, I kno that its nearly impossible. I said that Im lookin for the Mr. for my Ms. More so a good compliment to me. My mother told that every dude has issues, it just depends on what ur willing to put up with. I understqand that. I just thought it was encouraging, and gives me an idea of what to look for in a man.
tru indeed
Hey there love,
I think the thing to remember in reading this is she said she wants someone 'striving for perfection', not someone perfect. Overlooking that fact causes complete misinterpretation of the entire piece and you miss the point. Simply by trying to live better, you put yourself one step ahead of the rest. Looking for someone who is striving to reach perfection, granted-it will never be reached YET they're still persistent is not unrealistic. Furthermore, don't allow anyone to make you believe your standards are too high. Some people are too lazy to reach them... for that matter, most people are too lazy to reach them. However, someone is capable and will eventually pole vault. In the mean time, if you are striving for the same perfection they are- you're just putting yourself in the right place for when your king finally finds you. Just my opinion. I'll pass some more pieces to you on Wednesday before bible study. I edited the blog w/ Lauryn Hill's song on it and shouted you out for choosing it/mentioned your blog so people could check it out.
mwuah!
B
I love and agree with your sentments for 2 reasons. Woman's Worth...I love A.Keys. Secondly, Strive for Perfection. I argue with people constantly bout striving for perfection. They tell me it cant be achieved so dont try for it. I respond "With that attitude, forget perfect, you'll never be anything!" Point being I strive for perfection because I believe its achievable. God create us; God is flawless. I am a walking brathing embodiment of Gods work, I'm close to what God intended. My "shortcomings" are my failures alone, my not living up to Gods intentions; and the more I work on them the closer I am to perfecton, the closer I am to God.
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